Monday, December 22, 2008

Man vs. Car

A couple of days ago, a friend of mine, who had read my recent posts on falling down, was hopeful to see an entry describing my somewhat recent "run-in" with a car on the University of Iowa/Downtown area. Well, Ben, here ya go!

In the middle of October of this year, Mary-Jane and I had planned to travel down to Missouri to drop me off to visit my folks and participate in a high school sports celebration, and for her to travel down to Oklahoma to see her brother for his birthday. On the day of our departure, I decided to go ahead and work for half of the day at my research lab at the university, due to the fact that I was to meet a prospective chemistry graduate student at a university luncheon. This is all just nice set up for what is about to happen.

On the return trip from the luncheon that was held downtown in the Sheraton Hotel, I was making my way across downtown back toward campus. I came upon a moderately busy intersection, that had a constant flow of traffic and pedestrians, especially in the early afternoon. I was at the southeast corner of the intersection, wanting to head west (i.e., crossing the north/south traffic). I came to the corner, and pressed the button instructing the lights that I wanted to cross. As the N/S traffic's light turned to yellow, three cars heading north slowed to a stop, and the light turned red. At this point, my little white man walking sign replaced the red hand, and I began to walk across the street. At the same time, six or seven folks on the southwest corner started walking toward me. The young man that was facing north and in the far right lane wanted to turn right (east). He studiously looked to his left, saw the six or seven folks heading his way, and slowly crawled up the line, toward me. I thought nothing of it, as people commonly did this, and I assumed he would turn as soon as I passed his bumper. All of a sudden, he accelerated fully, rammed through my legs, and I, with full, unopened can of coke in my hand, slammed down on his hood as my legs were taken out from under me! As hard as I hit, I'm certain I left two dents in his hood - one from the coke can, and one from my wedding ring. He slammed on the brakes and I slid off the car, pushing myself up to check my lower appendages. After realizing they were fine, I wanted to just walk off as if nothing happened to avoid embarassment, but I thought, "no, no...I just GOT HIT BY A CAR, and it wasn't my fault...he should be embarassed." So I soaked in the 30+ onlookers stares with pride due to my lack of injuries. I wasn't at all superman since the car really wasn't going more than 7 miles an hour tops, but it still felt pretty invigorating. All the while, the young man is rolling down the window and opening his door at the same time just to say, "dude, are you alright, man?" I told him I was, and after he stared at me awhile, not believing I withstood the hit from the noise he heard of me crashing down into his dodge stratus hood, he finally took me for my word, and I told him to just look both ways before he crossed an intersection, similarly to how a mother would to a half-wit child.

Anywho, I continued my walk back to my building, packed up my things and went home to get my dog and pick up my wife on our way to Missouri. Needless to say, I invoked a lot of crazy gasps and scares as I told people that I was hit by a car today. Now you can brag to your friends that you know someone that has survived being hit by a car while walking through downtown Iowa City, and with no bumps, bruises, or hospitalization, you may need to question his hidden enhanced healing abilities...

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I've fallen and I can't get up

As in the previously mentioned post, winter's in full effect here in Iowa. Growing up in KC, Missouri, and living 4 years in Springfield, MO, I was not unaware or unaccustomed to snow, but I realized I am unaccustomed to multiple snow storms dropping anywhere between 3 and 19 inches of snow at a time, all the while never seeing the ground between the months of November to April.

Anyway, my ability to find a way to fall in any winter circumstance is new territory to a guy who grew up as at least a moderately athletic teenager, playing sports that depended on my ability to maintain balance. That apparently has all gone to pot. It began last winter when my wife and I went out to the local Christmas tree farm to pick out our coveted white pine. Nothing manlier than being outside, cutting down your Christmas tree. It was a very cold day, and inches of snow already covered the ground. Unlucky for me, it was a windy day, with a small amount of sleet coming down. Not enough to yield any dangerous driving conditions at that point, but just enough to instill a false amount of traction-related confidence in a saw-wielding 23 year old. As Mary-Jane and I moseyed around the office shanty and down a small slope toward the Christmas trees, I began to say something pleasantly cliche and warm about this time of year. I was careful as we traversed down the small slope toward the tree, but lost my focus in the deeper snow, only stomping through the trees, half concentrating on what I was saying, and half concentrating on the trees around us. Unfortunately that left no concentration for my footing. Before I knew it, my feet went out from under me, and being the safe yet periodically freaked out gentleman I was, I did not yell, and I carefully and tastefully went spread-eagle in mid-air as to keep the saw away from me. There are tons of things manlier than a sore backside, a heapful of snow down my neck, and what I thought was a loving wife, standing over me pointing and laughing...that was fall #1.

They say in football that interceptions come in bunches for a player, y'know, where he gets in his groove. Well, a similar philosophy could be taken into my falls of this year thus far. It has been less than three weeks since the first snowfall, and I have fallen three times already. I'm beginning to wonder if I should wear a sandwich board around my neck to warn others around me...hey, I'm courteous...I want to make sure people know the risk of being within my proximity. Anyway, fall #2 came one icy/snowy morning walking our dog, Frosty (who will have a slew of posts related to his antics). A fresh dusting of snow covered a deceivingly dangerous sidewalk. I was walking, Frosty's leash in one hand, and full bag of Frosty's "business" in the other. With no warning, both feet went out from under me, I dropped the leash, and poop went-a-flyin'. I layed on the cold concrete for a moment to gather my thoughts, check my extremeties, and see Frosty looking at me as to say "Hey, there's no time to mess around, there's a lot more things I have to sniff and pee on out here." Thankfully, my shoulderblade captured the brunt of my fall (it would be sure to remind me of that throughout the next two days as I was unable to turn my head and neck to the right - oh well). Noticing a person across the street in an open garage, I decided to save face (the condescending look from my dog notwithstanding) and quickly pounced up on my feet so to not attract attention. That was fall #2.

Less than a week later fall #3 made itself know at the anniversary spot of my first fall. Yes, back at the Christams tree farm, heading back to the office, Mary-Jane and I carried our tree with Frosty in leashed pursuit. I had tree in one hand, infamous saw in the other, and was leading the pack up over a 2-3 foot mound. One step on the mound, and down I went...Again, being the gentleman I am (and when I say gentleman, I mean stupid idiot) I held out the tree and saw as to not damage them, and made sure my gut took the brunt of the hit on the now very much apparent wooden beam that was set across the top of the mound. A few quick gasps of air, and a very questionable burp later, I was on my feet, embarrassed only in front of my wife...the person who I spend the most amount of time with that can remind the most of my ungracefulness.

Fall #4, currently the last fall (but it's only Decemeber 17th!) of the year, happened last night. This time, I took my poor-footed antics indoors. During the day, 5 inches of the white slippery stuff fell, and I had just hiked across campus to a lecture hall where I was to help monitor an exam. Up in the lecture hall I was busy passing out bubble sheets for the students. A second graduate student came over to me to get half of the stack of sheets to assist in passing them out. I gave him the internationally recognized "sure thing nod" and began town the towering flight of 4 stairs toward him. Both hands full of sheets I took one step down the stairs on to the edge of a step where a rubber coating, meant to assist in footing, had become very wet, or at least wet enough for me...yep, my foot went out from under me, my bum landed squarely on the step, and papers went flying. There was no saving face here. I was loud...not vocally, but in a silent lecure hall, when a 220 pound man slips and falls about six feet to the ground and about 100 papers go flying in the air, everyone hears it. I calmly got up, scooped up the papers, and continued to pass them out. To my surprise, the students gave me mostly sympathy looks, masking their thoughts of my ineptness at walking. Well, that's all about the falling for now, but history would suggest that there will be latter posts covering updates to this topic...

First Blog

Well, it's winter here in Iowa, and enough has happened over the past two and half years of my life living here, that I thought I would start this blog to help people catch up. I mean for this blog to be kind of a catch-all of my life, including the musings that I have including my work as a graduate student at the University of Iowa, and my wonderful life as husband to the most beautiful woman in the world. Also, our dog, Frosty, a great pyrenees seems to be adding endless joy and humor to our lives as well. You'll see that I mentioned it was winter here in Iowa, and much to my chagrin, winter brings snow, bad roads, -30 F wind chills, and, the subsequently titled post. I hope you enjoy reading these entries at least half as much as I enjoy writing them...or if you really want to laugh hard, try enjoying them twice as much as I enjoy writing them :)